Book Review: How To Talk To A Widower by Jonathan Tropper

“Sometimes you walk past a pretty girl on the street there's something beyond beauty in her face, something warm and smart and inviting, and in the three seconds you have to look at her, you actually fall in love, and in those moments, you can actually know the taste of her kiss, the feel of her skin against yours, the sound of her laugh, how she'll look at you and make you whole. And then she's gone, and in the five seconds afterwards, you mourn her loss with more sadness than you'll ever admit to. ”

― Jonathan Tropper, How to Talk to a Widower

This New York Times bestselling author of This Is Where I Leave You writes a heartwarming and humorous book about love, desire, and loss.

Synopsis From Goodreads...

Doug Parker is a widower at age twenty-nine, and in his quiet suburban town, that makes him something of a celebrity—the object of sympathy, curiosity, and, in some cases, unbridled desire. But Doug has other things on his mind. First there's his sixteen year-old stepson, Russ: a once-sweet kid who now is getting into increasingly serious trouble on a daily basis. Then there are Doug's sisters: his bossy twin, Clair, who's just left her husband and moved in with Doug, determined to rouse him from his grieving stupor. And Debbie, who's engaged to Doug's ex-best friend and manically determined to pull off the perfect wedding at any cost.

Soon Doug's entire nuclear family is in his face. And when he starts dipping his toes into the shark-infested waters of the second-time-around dating scene, it isn't long before his new life is spinning hopelessly out of control, cutting a harrowing and often hilarious swath of sexual missteps and escalating chaos across the suburban landscape.

My reacton to this novel...

The complicated, sometimes conflicting nature of human connection is examined in this novel, which goes beyond just telling a story about grief. The fragmented world of Jacob Appleman, a man dealing with the unexpected death of his wife, and the similarly damaged people that surround him captivated me as a reader. The novel's strength is its unvarnished honesty and reluctance to sugarcoat difficult realities about family dynamics, sorrow, and the pursuit of meaning in the face of catastrophe.

It seemed so real to see Jacob's first indifference followed by outbursts of rage, denial, and frantic attempts to relive the past. The author portrays the grieving process as a harsh and sometimes unglamorous battle rather than romanticizing it.  To keep the work from becoming unduly emotional, the dark humor interwoven throughout the story serves as a vital counterweight to the weighty subject matter. Jacob provides brief moments of humor through his self-pitying remarks and sarcastic wit, which helps to humanize his suffering.

Because each character is imperfect and dealing with personal problems, the story becomes more complex. Tropper deftly illustrates how family members may both facilitate and obstruct the healing process. Even though they are frequently wrong, the interventions show how deeply their dysfunctional connections are rooted in love and care. The notion that fundamental family conflicts and patterns endure after severe loss strikes a deep chord.

How To Talk To A Widower delves at the potential of finding love and significance after a loss.  A ray of optimism is provided by Jacob's cautious approaches to new relationships, despite their discomfort and uncertainty.  Tropper contends that learning to incorporate the past into a new future rather than just ignoring it is a necessary part of healing.  Despite not being totally definitive, the novel's ending gives the reader a cautious feeling of hope.  Jacob has started to face his fears and accept that happiness may exist, even if it doesn't look like what he had previously thought it would.

This is a strong and emotional story about sorrow, family, and the search for meaning.   Tropper's unwavering honesty and deft writing make this an engaging and ultimately hopeful read.  It serves as a reminder that human connection and the potential for healing may persist even under the most dire circumstances.

My Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐(4/5)